Loved the bit about spider web hair and piss smelling coffee. I would hate to be stuck on this meat wagon. The writing was dark and descriptive - even darker than the prompt. Well done!
Your descriptions of suffering remind me of the stories you hear in church as a child. Hell is brimstone, fire, and unending torture, and that's exactly the type of atmosphere the descriptions capture, in a manner of speaking.
It made me think that if anything hellacious could make me question my lack of religion, it would be torture written like this.
I see! Interesting that it had such an effect on you. I wrote it to be a bit tongue-in-cheek. There is validity in feeling aesthetic disgust at a world as alienating, crowded and overbearing as ours. But there is also humor in how good we are at making even the most mundane things unfathomably miserable for ourselves.
The story can be read both as an overreaction and as an actual hell. In either reading, it is man that makes hell.
This has to be one of the most visceral, brutal, vividly depicted horror stories I've read on here. Exemplary, Loke!!
Loved the bit about spider web hair and piss smelling coffee. I would hate to be stuck on this meat wagon. The writing was dark and descriptive - even darker than the prompt. Well done!
Thank you!
End stage capitalism fan fiction droppin’ daily family. Good piece.
amazing and creepy! bravo, loved this
If anyone could write a hellscape, this would be it. I think it had me questioning my already questionable eclectic spirituality.
Brilliant writing.
What an intriguing comment! Questioning in what way?
Your descriptions of suffering remind me of the stories you hear in church as a child. Hell is brimstone, fire, and unending torture, and that's exactly the type of atmosphere the descriptions capture, in a manner of speaking.
It made me think that if anything hellacious could make me question my lack of religion, it would be torture written like this.
Vivid, this was neatly disturbing.
That's a hell of a commute. Great gristly fun
I see! Interesting that it had such an effect on you. I wrote it to be a bit tongue-in-cheek. There is validity in feeling aesthetic disgust at a world as alienating, crowded and overbearing as ours. But there is also humor in how good we are at making even the most mundane things unfathomably miserable for ourselves.
The story can be read both as an overreaction and as an actual hell. In either reading, it is man that makes hell.
Thank you! Glad you liked it. Maybe I should aim for becoming the Lovecraft of noise and crowded spaces?